Right Prayer

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If you need to catch up on any of the posts in this series, just click on their title below.

Just Right

Right Gift

Right Decision

Right List

 

There are so many keys to a great marriage and we have only discussed a few this week. But I want to leave you with one final and very important key… prayer.

Praying for our marriage and our husbands on consistent bases is something we need to put a high level of importance on and here’s why…

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 (NLT)

We all want wonderful results in our marriage. But sometimes we go about trying to get those results the wrong way.

I love what Ruth Bell Graham, wife of the famous evangelist Billy Graham said regarding praying for your husband, “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative.”

By now you have probably discovered that nagging and preaching at your husband will not produce the results you are trying to get.

Here’s Elizabeth George’s thoughts on praying for your husband…

Furthermore, Jesus teaches, “Where your treasure is [in this case, the treasure for your time and effort invested in prayer], there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21). Focusing on your husband in prayer will help you focus on him in your heart, your thoughts, and your actions. You’ll also be surprised at the fruit born in your own life from this prayer- the fruit of understanding, cheerfulness, patience, helpfulness, and calmness. While you were praying for your husband, God changed your heart!

I want God to change me. I want to be the one my husband desires to be with more that anyone else. I want to be the one my husband confides and trusts in. I want to be all I can be for him.

And I want the some for him as well. I want him to be all he can be. That requires my love, patience, acceptance, devotion and prayers.

God has called our husbands to lead our families. That is a weighty responsibility. The way we can help him carry the load is by praying for him to have godly wisdom, favor, integrity, a humble and teachable sprit, godly friendships, courage, forgiveness, and a God-given purpose.

So honestly ask yourself, when was the last time I prayed for my husband? We are the closest earthly relationship our husband has, and if we are not praying for him, then who is?

We are all on this faith journey to becoming more like Christ. And if we want godly results in our marriage, then we have to bring our marriage and our husbands before God in prayer.

Ladies, as you are praying for your man, I am praying for you! God’s will is for our marriages to flourish. But it’s up to us to water, prune and cultivate the gift God has given us.

So today, I leave you with some links to some really great verses and prayers that can help you do just that! 🙂

30 Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge

10 Prayers for Your Husband

A Wife’s Prayer for Her Husband

Happy Saturday!!

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Right List

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**repost from June 2014**

If you need to catch up on any of the posts in this series, just click on their title below.

Just Right

Right Gift

Right Decision

 

If you are anything like me and many other humans on this planet, you are a list maker. I have a To Do list that is always being added to, and when I’m lucky, subtracted from. I make list for everything like groceries, chores for my kids, and of course those honey-do-lists.

Lists. Lists. Lists. I love them.

So today that is just what we are going to do… make a list.

Every marriage has its troubles. Every one of us has things that we wish we could change about our spouse; things that we feel make it impossible to live with our husbands at times.

Maybe he never picks up his clothes off the floor, has nasty habits like blowing his nose at the dinner table. Maybe he’s never willing to have long intimate conversations. Or maybe he forgets your anniversary. Or he’s tight with the money or he’s not even concerned with the money and you’re doing it all.

So, stop right now, go grab a pen and paper. Once you have it, draw a line down the center of the page from top to bottom.  I want you to write out on the left side of the line every one of those issues that make you have to love him with the love of Jesus cause your flesh just won’t allow it.

Remember, we are not doing this for a husband bashing session. Our end goal is to make your marriage a success and you will never conquer what you won’t confront.  And you cannot confront what you do not identify.

Take your time. I’ll be right here waiting on you when you’re done.

Ok. I hope you did not jump ahead of me and write on the right side all the positive things about your husband like good provider, loving father and never late for dinner.

If you did you are going to have to erase it. What I want you to do now is beside every issue on the left, I want you to write out your response to it on the right.

Do you pout?

Maybe nag?

Get angry?

Go ahead and complete your assignment.

Now I want you to take a pair of scissors and cut the paper down the middle. Rip up and throw away the left side: your husband’s side.

Now look at the right side. What do you see?  A record of petty behaviors, shameful practices and destructive responses?

You can do nothing about the left side of the paper you threw away. You will never change your man. But you can do something about the right side of the page. You can change you.

Take your list and pray over each reaction and ask God to give you wisdom, strength and guidance as you work on you in this marriage. Remember, nothing will ever change around you (your marriage) until something first changes in YOU.

No, this is not a cure-all for those nasty little habits of your husband. Most likely he is a good man, not a perfect man, but a good man. And ladies, let me just tell you, we are far from perfect ourselves. But those trivial little annoyances of his won’t seem as annoying when we respond to them with the right heart and attitude.

We need to learn how to deal with and handle the small issues in our marriage because one day there may be larger ones to survive like job loss, sickness or a move out of state.

Our most treasured possession should never be things, but a relationship. And things we treasure are things we protect and cherish.

 

Tomorrow I want to share with you one of the biggest things any wife can do in her marriage.

Until then, let’s imagine for a moment what our marriages could look like when we focus on our reactions instead of our husband’s behavior.

Pretty awesome if you ask me.

Right Decision

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(If you missed the first two posts, click here for Just Right, and  here Right Gift.)

**repost from June 2012**

Two years ago, former Vice President Al Gore and his wife Tipper split up after 40 years of marriage. FORTY YEARS.

Although I cannot assume to know the reasons why the Gores went their separate ways after so many years and 4 children; I do know that there must have come a point when they were no longer each other’s priority.

Just in case you are not already aware, no marriage is fail proof. NO marriage is safe. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us that there is an enemy out there prowling around just looking for the right moment to devour and he will not pass you by just because you have a few years of bliss under your marital belt.

To have a great successful and lasting marriage ladies, that man of yours HAS to be your #1 earthly relationship and priority.

Let’s go to the Bible shall we…

Admonish the young women to love their husbands. Titus 2:4

The word love here emphasizes affection; a friendship. Let me say it this way, he should be your best friend, one in whom you want to be with more than any other person, including your children.

There will come a day when those kids will be grown, and then gone. And if you have not cultivated your friendship with your spouse that is where the enemy will come in and try to devour.

So, what can you do to help make until death do us part become the only way you part? Make that right decision today to stop and cultivate your friendship.

I have a dear friend that lives close to me but our lives are very busy with our churches, our families, and ministering in our respective areas. We meet up every three months for a catch up lunch. We will spend hours together sharing about our lives, our children and husbands and our relationship with God.

Before we go our separate ways we ALWAYS break out our calendars and make an appointment for our next lunch three months out. Why?  Because if we don’t do it right then, we may never do it. Oh we may want to get together again, we may talk about getting together again, but unless we are proactive about setting a time to do it, chances are, we won’t.

You have to be just as vigilant with your husbands. If it takes breaking out the calendar to set aside everything else in your life, then that is exactly what you two need to do. Be proactive about cultivating your relationship.

And if you feel you have nothing in common anymore with your husband, that there is nothing you two could possibly discuss over even an hour long meal, I beg to differ.

You are a family… with a future; start there.

Plan out the rest of your lives. Dream together about where you want to be in 5, 10 or 20 years. Plan a once in a life time vacation and then make a plan to begin saving for it. Talk about the good things in your lives and how God has blessed you thus far and how you know He’s going to keep right on blessing you.

I know when you were dating you had those long nights of endless conversations that you prayed would never end. He’s still that same person. Things may have changed. You may know him better and some of those things you know better about him you may wish you could change.

But we said I do.

Now we have to DO all we know to do to have a successful marriage and part of that is continuing to cultivate your relationship.

So go grab your calendar and mark off some time for you and your #1.

Happy planning!!

Right Gift

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**repost from June 2012**

Today we are continuing our dive into the deep waters of marriage and our role as the just right wife for our husbands. If you missed yesterday’s post you can click here to read it here before continuing.

And now, let’s go deeper shall we?

When you study out what God has to say about marriage there is one word that just seems to trip us women up every time… submission.

Ephesians 5:22 tells us, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  Now before you click back over to Facebook you have to understand that yes, we are instructed to submit to our husbands, but he too has to submit. He submits to the headship of God and has to answer for the way he leads us.

And we will answer to God for the way we follow.

God is a God of order. And although I haven’t been in many courtrooms, I have watched enough TV to know that when things are going crazy, a judge will strike his gavel on the bench to bring a sound of authority and will yell out, Order in the court!!  Why does he do this?  Because when things are out of order, the judge knows chaos is about to ensue.

Look at life, nature, our government, your job; everything has an order to it. It is no different in our homes. There must be structure or there will be chaos.

So what does it mean to submit? It just simply means you are placing yourself under the authority of your husband.

And God never tells the husbands to take advantage of their position. In fact, He says the opposite in Ephesians 5:24, Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.

Ladies, nothing will make his job to love and lead you any easier than when you honor him by submitting to the authority that GOD has placed him in. It is a gift we choose to give.

If this whole concept is a struggle for you let me give you another perspective. Let’s look at Ephesians 5:22 again, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

When you understand you are ultimately submitting to God, your struggle will slowly begin to fade away. You see, your submission ultimately has nothing to do with your husband; how deserving he may or may not be. But it has everything to do with your relationship with the Lord and how deserving He is.

God instituted submission, commanded it, and is the one who gives you the strength to walk it out and He is honored when we do this.

This calling is a great and selfless calling, therefore it is going to take a great and selfless woman to do it!

So, if you want a happier more fulfilling marriage, then take a realistic look at your relationship with your husband and ask yourself, Am I submitting to the headship of my husband as the Lord has instructed? Or am I trying to be the leader in my home?

Remember, he can’t be the King of the castle if you aren’t willing to get off the throne.

I am sure we all have tried to change our husbands at one time or another. And I learned a long time ago, I can’t change J Mark Johns, I can only change the way I respond to him. You’ve probably learned the same thing about your man.

So today ladies, instead of trying to change our man, let’s work on changing us! Because, nothing will ever change around YOU until something first changes within YOU.

See you back here tomorrow!

Just Right

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**repost from June 2012**

On January 1, myself and about 75 others began a journey… a pretty long journey… a three hundred and sixty-five day journey through the New Living Translation of The One Year Chronological Bible.

And what an awesome journey it has been!!!

We are currently reading about the wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon. I was completely saddened by today’s reading. Solomon was so wise, so close to God, so called by God. And yet we read these words… In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the Lord his God… 1 Kings 11:4.

The they the above verse speaks of was Solomon’s many wives.

Oh the power a wife can wield…. and he had 700 (1 Kings 11:3). But all it takes is one to turn a man’s heart… toward good… or toward evil.

So what was the role his wives were to play?  And what is our role in marriage too?  To answer that question all we have to do is go back to our January 1st reading….

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

The King James Version calls us a help meet. In other words, we are to help our husbands meet the goals, plans and purposes that God has placed in his life. That is our role.

Proverbs 14:1 says, A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

Ladies, you have the power to build up your husband or to tear down the very fabric of his being. And sadly I have seen it go both ways.  If you build up your husband you are building up your home.  And vice versa, if you tear down your husband, you will tear down your home.

If he was fire and we were wind, we could either fan the flame or blow it out. I want my husband to be all he can be! And it is my greatest joy and honor in life to help him become ALL God has created him to be.

When he becomes a better man, I become a better woman.

I want us for the next few days to take a deeper look into the role we play in the lives of our husbands and homes.

Will you join me? I pray you will because I want all of us to be just right for our husbands.

Tomorrow we will dive deeper into something that many wives have trouble with.

That nasty little ‘s’ word.

Check back tomorrow to see what it is. 🙂

 

Do you hear what I hear?

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My sheep know my voice and a stranger they will not follow. John 10:27

To this day I can walk in a room teeming with people, conversations, and laughter, and piercing though all the noise a clearing of the throat can be heard, probably only by me, and in that moment I know my dad is near.

I have learned my father’s voice and after all these years I still know when he is near, even when I can’t see him.

This last week of Christmas we will be surrounded by the sounds of laughter, conversations, music, cash registers, and unwrapping of gifts. Still in all the noise our Father is near.

He’s always near.

He’s near to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:1

And…

He’s near to all who call on him. Psalm 145:18

Over 2000 years ago we were so far from God that he sent His Son to us, to walk with us, to teach and train us, to redeem us, so we could be… near.

And although we might not see God in the noise this week…

our Father is near.

He’s always near.

Do you hear what I hear?

Tina

To Face Unafraid

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Last night numerous people gave up sleep and the comfort of a warm bed for just a chance to purchase that perfect gift for their nearest and dearest at rock bottom prices.  Some succeeded, some failed.  But in all their attempts I’m sure everyone felt the same emotion… stress.

As this time of the year brings Joy to the World it also brings fears to our hearts and mind.  We fear getting all the shopping, cooking, and decorating done… having enough money to pay for Christmas… making it through the next few weeks without any major meltdowns from the kids… or ourselves.

I can’t help but think how stressful Joseph had to feel the moment Mary looked at him and said, I think it’s time.   

With no hospitals to take her to, or rooms in the inns, his thoughts had to bounce from this can’t be happening now to this baby deserves more than to be born in the filth and stench of a stable to I am such an inadequate husband and father.

But Mary, the Bible says, treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19). Although she held Christ in her arms that night, she held Him closer in her heart.

So, as we move into the greatest and last season of 2013, like Mary let’s purpose to focus on the greatest gift and treasure we will ever receive or give, the only gift that can fully satisfy, the only gift that can give peace in our frazzled lives, the only gift that is the perfect gift.

And instead of decorating all the rooms in our house this year, let’s decorate our lives with kindness, joy, patience, peace, and love for others.

In John 14 Jesus tells his disciples these two things that I think will help us enjoy this most wonderful time of the year…

Don’t let your hearts be troubled, Trust in God, and trust also in me… I am leaving you with a gift– peace of mind and peace of heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:1 & 27)

We can face unafraid the plans we have made if we take time to do what Mary did on that first Holy Night;

treasure and ponder

JESUS.

Merry Christmas,

Tina